Pearls

by noera

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03:35
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02:59
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03:40
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04:24
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03:53
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about

Pearls revolves around mental illness and gender identity. The mix of pronouns used most often represents internal gender conflict and is rarely in reference to a particular individual. This record is dedicated to all those living with BPD or dysphoria.

credits

released January 11, 2019

Written, produced, and performed by Prudence Delilah (she/her)
Drums on FMLA: TJ Stevenson (they/them)
Additional vocals on Gemini, Hedge Maize: Andi Jones (they/them)

Recorded + Mixed by Andi Jones at Sooo Big Auditory
Philadelphia, PA
Mastered by Bill at Azimuth Mastering

Immense gratitude to Andi, TJ, Sam, Donnie, Aoife, Orion, Pat & Doug, Patrick at Dead Definition, and all the peers, queers, and cheers that made it possible.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

noera Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Yr noisy rock girl

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Track Name: Home Alone
Fell asleep with the lights on again last night
What a bad sign, what a bad sign
Took doses too hard of vacation in midnight's light

He tells me to be the man that I am
If we're the world she's the plan
I'm just E.T. with only one light, only one light

Enjoy a Donut and pay for my ramen too
What a bad sign, What a bad sign
Not here to shop just to stop and say hello to you

Why would I buy this expensive shirt?
I'm only gonna get hurt
b[u]y something good but I'm afraid to
I'm afraid too

[chorus]
I never thought bein selfish was good
Don't tell me I'm feelin sorry for no reason
I've been away from my sweater for too long
I'm missin my hood
'Cause what I love can't please me

Clean the house to make everything look nice
What a Bad Sign, WHat a Bad SIgn
Don't care to ssoee all the band s that my cool lfpreinds like
what wolend i get from this trip to the mon
I couldn't get in my room
Head in a crater I'm a good guy
I'm a good guy
(keep tellin yourself that)

[chorus]
I never thought bein selfish was good
Don't tell me I'm feelin sorry for no reason
I've been away from my sweater for too long
I'm missin my hood
'Cause what I love can't please me
Track Name: FMLA
Sugar-obsessed American
Hooked on caffeine and Ritalin
I smoke my boyfriend's nicotine
Not quite sure what it does for me

He's Interpol she's fantasy
Looks at the web, my eyes to see
No camouflage identity can relate
She takes me parsimoniously

[riff]

Drinks the same water I knew in youth
But scratched the itch I never soothed
A metal suit but no one inside
Baby I just want my body back

I split myself, Kauffman and Cage
To join a club, faking my age
'Ridikkulus' to change my face, spell me out
I don't know why I can't change or why she doesn't complain

[riff]

I know what it's like to be a loser
I know what it's like to be a loser
Never really was a pic and chooser
But I know what it's like to be a loser
I know what it's like to be a loser
I know what it's like to be a loser
Track Name: Gemini
Are you surprised that I'm not who I was?
(That I'm not who I >said< I was)
And would it change your mind if I said that I was fine
If I said I was alright
I'm not alright but I guess that's a lie
I've got some shit together but I'm
Still freaking out on the couch every day now
Please help me come down


Where did I go
When did I leave
What is this illusion I'm seein in front of me
Motor hums
Drugs don't come cheap
Lookin for solutions to lovin when I'm weak
Might give you a growl but can't hurt you with flat teeth
I learned how to howl when they took away my fleece
Can't afford the truth when you see me
'Cause I'm still down,
Feeling really weak

Are you surprised that I'm perfectly numb
Like a smile in a photograph
Dirt in my teeth from the fear on my tongue
You'd convince me to take a bath

Take it all back but I can't so I'll have to learn
how to love myself
Before I react to the intimate pace
Of emotional interchange

Patience, patience, patience please
(Erised, to me)
Patience, patience, patience please
Think before you speak

Patience, patience
Patience, patience, patience please
Patience, patience
Patience, patience, patience please
Track Name: Hedge Maize
Hedge by the minotaur
was growin over
growin overhead like a banana sky
overripe, overripe
I don't know what to do with my time

You're so deep a labyrinth
Can't get in, cant get in
Find peace through indifference
Wear your friends, Where're your friends?
I eat crumbs like the past's behind

Do you ever feel
like getting older
is a curse on your security
and the bed that healed
your teenage heart
can't fight the cold in here

Am I too odd or too far-removed?
To fit with your long island wrecking crew?
My squad was the corn I'm a country kid
Are you gonna keep me on as your city bitch?

Never seen your bike before
All in black, all in black
Fits your look and it's no high horse
Gets you out of the house
Head for the Garden and you don't look back

Too much fillin your little heart
Feed the rose, feed the rose
Heed that thorn in your little paw
Decompose, Decompose
Always see your makeup intact

Do you ever feel
like coming over
is harder when you love me
and the bed that healed
your teenage heart
can't fight the cold in here

Am I too odd or too far-removed?
To fit with your long island wrecking crew?
My squad was the corn I'm a country kid
Are you gonna keep me on as your city bitch?

Betch betch betch you won't
Bet bet bet you don't
Track Name: Toy Gun (for an outlaw)
Tell me what it is that you're running from
Little boy with your toy gun
Rough with the bad guys but all in good fun
Little boy with your toy gun

Smilin when you're savin the day
Makin all the ghosts turn away
But they don't run
When you turn your head
Did you feel strong
hidin under the bed
what, through that frame, you saw,
you'll shun
but it comes back

Why are you afraid to be a sensitive son
Little boy with your toy gun
Same came around when your father was young
Little boy with your toy gun

Show them that you don't have the leash
Never think of using their teeth
But they get stunned
When you shed your fleece
DId you feel strong
Hiding under the sheets
Hair of the dog
Makes you bite your tongue in your cheek

Started with nothing, can't spare the expense
Little boy with your toy gun
They took your family what good is a friend
Little boy with your toy gun

Livin in the longest of cons
Just to find the man you thought won
The race they ran
So you took his name
Did you not once think of quitting the game?
The winner's cup won't fill you up
Revenge won't fill you up

So you better run
You better run, run away

Little boy with your toy gun
Track Name: Cortisone
I took a big bite and spit it out
The taste of sour's too much for me right now
It just felt so nice to have you in my mouth

A fool drawn and quartered
I sleep a lonely day away
by the morning I am sick with golden rays
Add your scent, and mix to taste

Oh man, whoa oh man
Keep control
Put a stone face on and don't let her go
Never let the tremors make you fold four-fold
In an appetite for laughter
She's so heavy dipped in Acapulco Gold

I fake fortitude with my wicked eyes
I see your gaze is not the vacant kind
I just ache to watch your body serpentine

And this whiskey treats me like cortisone
Late at night, I rub the lotion on
By the morning I have scratched down to the bone

Oh man, whoa oh man
Keep control
Play the long game now and don't let her go
Just cross your arms and leave it
to the fault, fault, fault
of the blind and bored fates
of the blind and bored fates that keep your soul
Track Name: Weekend Vultures
Weekend Vultures on the lawn
They can't put those dresses on
Skirts that skirt and skim the dew
Not sure why they look at you

Weekend vultures pining for the dawn
Quick to put your records on
Nod along and hum the tune
But did they really listen to it?

And you don't have to say what
Goes on inside your room
And you don't have to say what
The Vultures did to you

Weekend Vultures feeding on your bones
Thinking "Who would rather be left alone?"
Your door opened, only To Be Kind
Their racing fervor ate up your peace of mind

And you don't have to say what
Goes on inside your room
And you don't have to say what
The Vultures did to you

--I've been calling all night
--Policemen don't see the danger
--There is no wolf I'm just confused about the laws of nature

Weekend vultures, so suddenly gone
Never stay to find what they did was wrong
The winner sings the final tune
The newspaper won't tell you what the losers really lose


And you don't have to say what -- I've been calling all night
Goes on inside your room -- Policemen don't see the danger
And you don't have to say what --There is no wolf I'm just
The Vultures did to you -- confused about the laws of nature
Track Name: Crust Home Sugar High
Why do the streets smell like cigarette hotels
A half dozen bottles from the beast at the wholesale
Daddy used to feed him when he could
(did you know he was an immigrant too?)

Why do the lights look like a veteran lapdance
A kid in pajamas settin fire to his presents
Somewhere a kid who's gettin nothin is doin their best
impression of girls in holiday ads

I won't be long
I don't belong
I don't feel like comin home anymore

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